The Beer Ain't Flat, But I Am

[Verse 1]
I tried to fix the tractor, but I broke the plow,
Thought I’d milk the cow, but I milked the bull somehow.
My dog just shakes his head, won’t fetch the ball,
He’s smarter than me, that ain’t hard at all.

[Chorus]
The beer ain’t flat, but I am, oh man,
Fell off the wagon and into the can.
Life’s a rodeo, I’m the clown in the ring,
But at least I can laugh at the mess that I bring.

[Verse 2]
Last week I went fishin’, caught my own thumb,
Lost my bait to a catfish and my pole to the mud.
Tried to impress Mary Sue with a sweet serenade,
But the only applause came from the neighbor’s grenade.

[Chorus]
The beer ain’t flat, but I am, oh man,
Fell off the wagon and into the can.
Life’s a rodeo, I’m the clown in the ring,
But at least I can laugh at the mess that I bring.

[Bridge]
Mama always said, “Boy, use your head!”
But it’s more decoration than workin’ instead.
If brains were biscuits, I’d starve for sure,
But at least my heart’s big, and my spirit’s pure.

[Chorus]
The beer ain’t flat, but I am, oh man,
Fell off the wagon and into the can.
Life’s a rodeo, I’m the clown in the ring,
But at least I can laugh at the mess that I bring.